I didn't want to wake up...
I was having a much better time asleep

...
And that's really sad !!
It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved but I woke up into a nightmare !

Some friends don't understand this ...
They don't understand how desperate I am to have someone say, I love you and I support you just the way you are because you're wonderful just the way you are !!
They don't understand that I can't remember anyone ever saying that to me....
I am so demanding and difficult for my friends because I want to be weak and fall apart before them so that they will love me even though I am no fun, lying in bed, crying all the time, not moving....

Depression is all about If Someone only loved me ..

When you're surrounded by wrong people , it can be lonelier than when you're by yourself ....
You can be in a huge crowd, but if you don't feel like you can trust anyone or talk to anybody, you feel like you're completely alone !!

Listen to the people who love you always ❣️
Believe that they are worth living for even when you don't believe it !!!
Seek out the memories depression takes away and project them into your future !
Be brave ...be strong .. smile more !!!
Exercise because it's good for you even if every step it’s so hard for you !!
Eat when food itself disgusts you !!!
Reason with yourself when you have lost your reason 👆🏻
I'll never forget how the depression and loneliness felt good and bad at the same time ...
Still does....

You say you’re depressed ... well ...
You are allowed to feel messed up and inside out!!
It doesn't mean you're defective ... it just means you're human ❣️

Maybe we all have darkness inside of us and some of us are better at dealing with it than others ..